Taking Back This Space

I've loved writing since elementary school. I spent hours typing away at my parent's desktop computer, writing short stories and unfinished novels, long before people had the internet in their homes or even thought about holding their computer in their lap. 

My junior year of high school, when I wrote a satirical news story for an assignment, my teacher told me it was good enough to be published in The Onion and my confidence soared on that compliment for the rest of the year. And in college when my Brit. Lit. teacher asked to keep an essay of mine as a future example, I beamed with pride. 

None of this is being said to brag or toot my own horn. 

It's simply being said to show that writing has always meant something to me. 

I started this blog to continue that love. And lately I've been frustrated because I don't love it. 

And that's when I realized that I've become a "blogger," not a writer. I don't mean to say that being a "blogger" is a bad thing, I just mean to say that I've become more obsessed about my numbers, linky parties, and giveaways.

You've probably seen a familiar sentiment in other blogs, many women seem to be feeling this same frustration. And it's nice to know that I'm not the only one. I've been feeling this way for weeks and only felt brave enough to speak out once I heard other voices saying the same thing.

I used to write in this blog because I wanted to. I wrote because I felt something, because I had something to say...not because I felt like I had to get a post up each day of the week. I wrote what I felt, good or bad, and wasn't concerned about what that might do to my stats. 

And I want to do that again. I will do that again. 

I know that there is a time and a place for linky parties, I love my weekly iPhone Photo Dump posts because I do feel like you are seeing a part of my life. I do think giveaways are a great way to thank readers and work with companies. And occasionally you'll see a sponsored post because it's a way for me to contribute to our household income; I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't care about my numbers in the slightest. 

But those things are not 100% me...they're not my thoughts, my feelings, my heart...and that's what writing has always been to me. 

Starting today, I am taking back my space. You'll see those "typical" posts here and there, and I'm not ashamed of that, but I still want you to see me. And I hope you'll be okay with that. I do still hope you'll stay around, but even if you don't, I'll still be writing about what I feel, what I think, what I hope, what I fear...because that's the way things used to be. 

That's the way things should be.

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